I don’t recognize either one of us as the same beings in this photo.
The ‘Jen’ in this pic is so hollowed out and tired of living under emotional pain but doesn’t quite know how to change any of it and is still looking outward for the answer.
The little ‘J’ in this pic is so utterly profun’kd at what she got herself into coming to this reality, lol.
What would I tell them both if I could rush back there today?
I would tell little ‘J’ that she can move mountains and shine a light brighter than any darkness. You are utterly perfect and unstoppable and the brightest light that has ever shined here! You can be or do whatever you like and as many things that inspire and delight you! You truly are amazing!
I adored on my girl daily but i still wish that I would have said more of those things to her…(as I well up with water eyes)…I do know I was the mom she required and I did my best, always.
I would tell this version of ‘Jen’ to trust herself more. Seek enlightenment sooner than later and always remember that self-punishment and self-persecution don’t elevate the pain in another person nor does it change the course of past events. Is does, however, give you more stuff to carry and find your way out of. You are such a caring and benevolent spirit and you will find your way. You are enough! You are worthy! You can move mountains and shine a light brighter than any darkness.
And as I say these things to sweet beings in 2010, I can feel myself receive my message, through her heavy energy, through her distractions, she receives it and it brings her one step closer to me now. An energetic bread crumb to follow me to a place where so much healing has already occurred. A place of relief for ‘Jen’ in the photo.
And in that relief, she is inspired to find her way to me now. And I am thankful for her courage and tenacity. Without her, I couldn’t be me. Because we are all connected. Every version of our being, every moment in time, every person, place, and thing. And I leave her now with gratitude. I send sweet energetic balls of hugs and gobs of the purest love to little ‘J’ and send them off to continue their journey. I will see you soon.
Profun’kd: my definition of I know I chose this, but WTF did I get myself into?